This Introvert is Over It

“Are you shy?

Throughout my childhood, I was frequently asked this question by my classmates and teachers. Slightly confused I would say, “No, not shy… just quiet.”

On a one to one basis, like with my two best friends, I was talkative but when I was in a large group setting, I felt out of my element and would go into a shell. I used to find myself wishing I was more extroverted. I wanted to see what it felt like to be on the other side.

Don’t get me wrong, in the right situations, I displayed extroverted qualities. For instance, job interviews, meeting new people, class speeches, networking, etc., you would never know I was an introvert. But after the interview, the initial meeting, speech, or whatever, I would retreat back to myself. Extroversion didn’t come natural and it always felt slightly uncomfortable, but I knew it was necessary.

Despite being introverted growing up, over the last couple years, I have inadvertently become more extroverted. I attribute it to two reasons:
I lived abroad in foreign country during 2016–2017

I went to live in Costa Rica with my significant other and our two children a little over a year ago. One of the major purposes of the trip was to learn Spanish through immersion. Obviously, if I wanted to do so, I was going to have to go out my way to build relationships with people and it was going to force me to be outside my element.

We quickly learned that the Costa Rican people were extremely friendly. When we first arrived, I found myself having lengthy conversations with people who could have cared less about my poor Spanish speaking skills, in fact they tended to drag the conversation out, even after I had become embarrassed and tried to exit it.

Neighbors stopping by my home unannounced, which would have normally be a nightmare for me, became a joy. They would come with gifts of fruits, bread and cheese, just wanting to chat and share coffee. We would often talk for hours and when they left, I didn’t feel like I had to recharge, I felt grateful to have had their company.

Living there caused me to open up more. It made me more appreciative of relationships. Unintentionally, I became more extroverted and I am grateful for it.
I wanted to use my voice for good.

Being a quiet person through much of my childhood, meant I was always observing, thinking about and analyzing the my surroundings. I grew up thinking differently and eventually following a different path than many of my peers.

I’ve always wanted to travel and help others, you know leave my footprint in some way. But in order to do so, I knew I was going to have to come outside of myself.

I was going to have to be able to connect with others on a deeper level and do things that were outside of being an introvert.

When I decided I wanted to begin building a personal brand online, I knew that eventually, it would begin to bring attention and I had to be okay with that. I saw the value in having extroverted qualities. Instead of avoiding situations that made me uncomfortable, I started to embrace them.

Things like making a YouTube channel or writing my thoughts online were things I simply wasn’t interested in doing before. Now, I’m barely bothered by it.



At the end of the day, I still enjoy my times of solitude and reflection, but now I also seek more connections. There are benefits to having qualities from both sides of the coin.


I’d love to hear from you..

Are you introvert or extrovert? A little of both? What has been your experience?